New Media and "Performing' Gender: Online Dating


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This topic contains 17 replies, has 11 voices, and was last updated by  Mascialec 2 years, 5 months ago.

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  • #4132

    tevnane
    Participant

    When our parents were our age they never had any sort of online interaction or dating with others. In our generation we are able to log on to a social media and be whom ever we want to be. If we wanted to we could change our gender, sexual orientation, and race with just a click of a button.
    If you have ever seen the television show Catfish, you can see that many people do this. It is possible that people who are not confident with the way other view them change who they are online in order to be accepted and gain confidence. It saddens me that our society is not accepting of everyone and people feel the need to change themselves online.
    Now my question is, do you believe that online forums such as social medias and dating websites are beneficial to our society? or do you believe we should build relationships face-to-face like our parents?

    #4137

    talves5
    Participant

    I think that both sides you pose in your questions have their pros and cons. For example, I know many people who have found happy, healthy, long term relationships that would not be possible if it weren’t for modern technology and skype. An example of this is service men who stay in contact with their wives and families through networking sites and webcams. However, it is when people abuse the ability to hide behind screens that it becomes an issue. This is often seen in Catfish where people come up with elaborate lies to hide their true selves. In those cases it would have been more beneficial to build relationships in person, or just with someone they were more sure were who they said they were.

    #4140

    marissamalerba
    Participant

    I think using social media and online dating sources can be beneficial, but as all good things, it needs to be done in doses. Social media is a bad thing when it is over done. There’s nothing wrong with meeting someone on an online dating website, however, it’s important to take that relationship to real life too. I think kids who experience their own cell phones and social media too quickly can become desensitzied to one-on-one conversation. I also think this can be drawn to cyber bullying. People become too confident with themselves online because they’re hiding behind a screen and it’s easier to be someone you’re not or say something you don’t mean. Being online can be dangerous unless you know how to use it.

    #4149

    mckenzieC
    Participant

    I think social media has its positives and negatives affect on our society. Its positives are how people do online dating and come out with a great relationship, potentially marrying there future husband or wife. But as the discussion leader had mentioned the T.V show CatFish is a bad way social media for online dating takes that wrong turn. People are being lied to left and right. Technology now a days just takes over us adults and teens. We tend to try to get to know someone over social media then actually face to face. Which limits your social skills because it seems easier over txt or online chats. So personally I think that face to face is better in way or less of conversation over social media and more face to face or over the phone.

    #4150

    esteedeschamps
    Participant

    I also believe that social media has its pros and cons. However, I do think that technology has brought more bad habits than good in our society. Personally, I think that people overly depend on technology for practically everything. I know a lot of people who often say: “my phone is my life”. When one thinks about that statement, it becomes a scary one for it highlights how much people depend on a machine (one that can be dropped and break) to balance their lives. Social media is everywhere these days and I think that it dissocializes people more than anything else. It is rare that someone will walk down a street without looking at a screen these days; people don’t take the time to look around them, observe the world. At a table, instead of conversing with each other, people will be texting or logged onto their social media accounts; looking at the latest posts. I think that this is becoming a problem since individuals are, in a sense, hiding behind the social media since they can be perceived however they desire. This is problematic since it is only encouraging the societal norms instead of combatting them; a heavier girl will make people believe that she is slim instead of embracing her shape. Things like this symbolize that the society is accepting these norms. In all, I believe that relationships should start “face-to-face” since that would allow the society to go back to moral grounds.

    #4151

    marissamalerba
    Participant

    I agree with Estee that society is very dependent on techcology. It is very rare that you can go out to dinner or hang out with friends without having someone constantly checking their phone or even all using social media together. I don’t neccessarily think online dating is beneficial or not. I think it is a great way for someone who is more shy or is just lacking options, to go onto a dating website and meet people there own age. Depending on how the person lets social media define and control their life, it can be a good thing or a bad thing. I remember an old car commercial showing a daughter on facebook making fun of how her parents only have 10 friends on facebook. It then showed the parents in the new car going on road trips and off roading having lots of fun while the daughter sat on facebook and other social media. Although the commercial is a few years old it shows how even then people were missing out on bonding opportunies for social media.

    #4153

    tori.oates
    Participant

    I believe that social media has both its benefits and downfalls. Social media is a new trend that will symbolize who we are as a generation. Social media can act as a way of informal communication to get to know other people all around the globe, and as for online dating services many people have met their perfect match through dating websites. However, I strongly believe that social media has its many downfalls. Social media can be used as a form of bullying and can lead to many people to realize their insecurities. The one thing that makes me feel like social media is not good for society is because now a days people lack proper social skills. Chatting people over Facebook and Twitter is not going to give anyone the correct social skills in order to succeed once we are I the real world. This is why I am no the biggest fan of social media.

    #4154

    coneryc
    Participant

    I believe now or days social media for online dating is beneficial. Especially for young adults who are in their late twenties and are looking to settle down, sometimes the bar scene is not a great place to meet someone. Through online dating it is convenient to meet someone with similar interests as you and that kind of person you are going for. The app Tinder makes it as easy to find someone by swiping left or right depending if you are interested or not. However if someone is interested in online dating they have to be careful. If one is engaging through an online relationship they should make sure who they are talking to is physically the person they appear online as. They should Facetime, or skype to make sure their love interest is not a “catfish”. A “catfish” is a person who creates fake personal profile on social media sites such as chat rooms, facebook, instagram, twitter, and more, pretending to be someone more physically appealing than their true self. These catfish will photoshop their photos or use someone else’s pictures and false information, and usually intend to trick a person into falling in love with the image/idea of a person they have created. Most of the catfish are insecure about their physical features and create a fake profiles in order to escape their reality of being ugly. The profiles also make them believe they are that person they have created online, which makes them feel happy and confident.

    #4155

    jprince
    Participant

    I think there are many benefits of online forums such as social media and dating websites. For example everyone has some type of social media and it easy to communicate with one another. Dating websites provide people with information to see if you guys have things in common. It makes it easier to tell if you are going to be interested in someone instead of wasting your time on a face to face date. But there are also negative effects of these social media cites. For example it is easy to make up information about yourself. You might think you are talking to someone you might really like and then meet them in person and they might not be who they said they were. It is also very difficult to build a relationship without physically being with a person. So I think both have their pros and cons but ultimately I think we should build relationships face to face.

    #4156

    coneryc
    Participant

    Although I previously encourage online dating from my previous comment I also believe it can be a bad thing for society.The internet can be viewed as a blank canvas for new identifications for an individual. Online chatrooms and other interactive programs provide the option of exploring and creating new identifications in relation to class, sexuality, race, and gender. A participant in an online chatroom, may claim an identification that is different from the one he or she maintains in everyday life. The internet sets no boundaries or requirements for physical age, race, or gender. Through the internet, we have the power to change whatever aspect of our identification we want to inhabit at that particular time. Given the mobility of new technology, anyone can shift identifications in a matter of minutes. For most people, who spend the majority of their time engaging in online interactions, their alter ego may well be more ‘real’ to them than their physical self. Which can overall affect ones life negatively.

    #4157

    esteedeschamps
    Participant

    In all, I believe that online dating can be very beneficial and convenient, especially in this face-paced society that we live in. It gives people the chance to meet individuals who share common interests without going through the whole “socialization process”. However, this negatively affects the social skills of the majority of the society and has a risk that not all are aware of.

    #4158

    tevnane
    Participant

    DO any of you find that relations will be more or less successful if they are started online or started by meeting face to face. Yes, technology and online social media helps couples stay together while at college, over sees fighting for out country, or are in a long term relationship. I am asking the question about simply meeting. Is it better to meet someone online, and start dating them, or meet them another way in person. There is a new app that one can download called Tinder that has seemed to become normal to meet up with strangers they have never met. Do you find the app tinder beneficial in finding loved ones?

    #4159

    tori.oates
    Participant

    Social media, Facetime, Skype, and even tinder are forms of social media that can help people connect. However, I still strongly believe that meeting someone face to face is the best way to connect. People can relate through social media, but when it comes finding love or friendship there is no better way to really get to a know person then having a physical conversation. People can lie or create a false persona over social media, but when people connect in person people are prone to be more honest. I believe that when people are honest it is easier to relate.

    #4169

    tevnane
    Participant

    I like what you said here Tori, in my personal opinion, meeting someone for the first time face to face is much different than interacting with them online. Is it more of the fact that you think people are on social media to lie? DO we have a learned biased of liars on social media becasue of television shows such as Catfish?

    #4182

    allisonsimmons
    Participant

    I think that the reason why we live in a society full of online dating websites is because of the world we live in now. Everything around us is technology and media. Everyone has a smartphone and communicates using technology. It’s just the way it is, they didn’t have texting, social networking, and online dating back when our parents were growing up. So I think that dating websites are beneficial to an extent because of the society that we live in today. It is a way for people to use the technology that they already have and build relationships. I do however wish that technology wasn’t as needed in society today because I feel like the relationships that are built on social network are lacking important qualities like face to face interaction.

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